A Freak Out
by Vitaminsdaily
Summary: Set sometime after the finale in season 4. Blaine and Kurt are talking when suddenly Blaine starts to well... freak out for lack of a better term. Kurt helps and comforts him and they have a heart to heart about some of their issues.


"Please don't freak out!" says Blaine.

"Well then why did you say that!? Now I'm starting to freak out!"

"Sorry…"

"So why didn't you want me to freak out?"

"Oh no reason."

"Seriously?"

"Wait what? Is there something to be serious about? Your freaking me out." Blaine was so jittery that he was almost jumping out of his own skin.

"BLAINE!"

"Yes Kurt?" He said in a small voice.

"Could you possibly just spit out what it is that you needed to say in the first place please?"

"Um, okay, well I just wanted to tell you that you look really beautiful today." He was looking at the ground nervously.

Kurt sat dumbfounded. He couldn't for the life of him figure out if that was really what his ex-boyfriend wanted to tell him or not. They were sitting in the choir room looking over music for nationals when suddenly Blaine started acting weird. That was a few minutes ago.

"Blaine sweetheart?" Blaine felt a twinge in his heart at the endearing term, even if Kurt was using it in an almost patronizing tone.

"Yes Kurt?" Blaine sounded even smaller this time.

"Was that really all you wanted to say to me?"

"Um…" Kurt felt as though Blaine looked younger then he had ever seen him. Kurt wasn't sure if it had something to do with the fact that he had gone to New York and grown up a lot in the last few months while Blaine had stayed in Lima or if it was just that Blaine was so nervous and weak sounding, which almost never happened. Maybe it was both.

"Blaine just because we aren't together anymore doesn't mean we can't compliment each other. Hell you are the one who called me 'dirty-cute' the other day." Blaine blushed. "Yeah you thought I would let that one go didn't you? Well alright, if that's all you wanted to say." Kurt let the subject drop and continued his work.

Blaine's eyes widened and began to fill with tears. He tried to stop himself from crying but it was to no avail. Kurt noticed a few seconds later when Blaine hadn't rejoined him in song selecting.

"Oh G-d, Blaine, please tell me what's wrong." Kurt moved over to Blaine and put an arm around him and was sadden when Blaine flinched at the touch. Kurt didn't let go though and started wiping away Blaine's tears without thought of his actions.

"Please, I can't help you if you don't talk to me." Blaine nodded and shifted to face Kurt.

"Well it's just, I really miss you Kurt! I more then miss you, and not just in a romantic way, as a friend. Before….before everything happened with us (before I screwed everything up, he thought to himself), I realized that the only reason I came here was because of you. I feel lost without you here, being in this room doesn't seem right anymore. I just feel so alone, all the time. I have Sam and Tina, and everyone else. But none of them are you. You are my best friend Kurt, you understand me and love me in a way that no one else does, especially not my family. It's just sometimes I feel like my whole life is so meaningless and, and…." Blaine seemed at a loss for word. Kurt sighed and took Blaine's hands.

"I know that this has been hard for you, not just me leaving but coming here in the first place and well just everything. But I need you to understand that you are never alone. I know that before um… before you cheated on me that I wasn't giving you what you needed and that I wasn't there for you. I swear to the G-d that I don't believe in that that is one of the biggest regrets I have ever had in my life. That being said, you can't let your life or happiness be contingent on anyone else Blaine. Promise me you won't let anyone, especially me, get in the way of your happiness." Kurt looked at him expectantly.

"But Kurt, it's just so hard and…"

"No Blaine, only you can make yourself happy. Now promise me." Blaine looked at him pleadingly but when Kurt would not relent he gave in.

"I promise Kurt." Blaine looked defeated.

"Okay, good. Now, let me remind you that I will always, always be here for you. No matter what, I love you, I care about you. Sure I might not always be where you are, but that doesn't mean that I don't have you in my heart. I understand, you're my best friend, I miss you all the time. This is obviously a problem for us, it's something we can and will work on. I can try to call and text more and maybe you can send me letters. We can figure it out. It's going to be ok Blaine. I said I would never say goodbye to you and I meant it. So please, listen to me, have courage, and know that you have the strength to be okay on your own." Blaine was crying again.

"I love you so much Kurt. I am so sorry for what I did to you, to us. G-d I don't think I will ever forgive myself."

"Well maybe you should start there because I forgive you Blaine." Blaine looked up at him with wide, unbelieving eyes."

"You do?"

"Don't be so skeptical now. I am a pretty forgiving person you know. It doesn't change the fact that we are still just friends, but yeah, I forgive you."

"Your so amazing, G-d I am such a fool. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me Kurt. Jesus I am so grateful you are in my life." Kurt chuckled.

"Don't get all religious on me now Blaine." Blaine laughed too.

"It will be alright though won't it Kurt?"

"You and me? Or life in general?" Blaine pondered this for a second.

"Everything…"

"I think so Blaine. I really do." Kurt moved back over to Blaine and engulfed him in a binding hug. He also kissed him on the head, and the forehead, and if he thought about kissing him on the lips for a few seconds, well who could really blame him?

"So, are you done crying my love?" Kurt was still really concerned, it showed on his face.

"I think so… Do you think maybe, just, I mean if it's not too much to ask…."

"Spit it out Blaine." Kurt said in an amused huff.

"Will you just hold me for a little while, please?" Kurt didn't hesitate to rap him up in his arms again.

"I think I can do that. I think I would do anything for you Blaine." Kurt was surprised at his own words but he knew they were true.

"I love you Kurt."

"I love you too." Now Kurt was crying, luckily Blaine couldn't see his tears. Maybe Kurt had assured Blaine that everything would be okay but he wished that he had been able to calm his own fears as well. In that moment however, even with tears falling gently down his face, his fears didn't seem to matter much. His life was going somewhere, it was really taking off, and in the end he still had Blaine, so everything, at least for now, would be okay.

**I had originally intended this to be a lighthearted one-shot that was set during their relationship. It didn't really work out like that at all, hope you like it anyway!**


End file.
